I have wanted to share my son's story for some time now. Hayden is turning five years old in a couple of weeks. I recently found a great Google group to share our experiences. If any of you reading this have a similar story, please feel free to join us!
After a
very normal pregnancy, Hayden's birth was much rougher than I could have imagined. After twelve hours of induced labor and
two and a half hours of pushing, Hayden ended up having an “assisted” delivery
(I was only one push away from having an emergency c-section) but with help of
forceps the doctor managed to get Hayden out. He wasn’t breathing at first, but quickly recovered. Looking back, I think he was born with
low muscle tone and it probably contributed to the rough birth. (Our physical therapist has also
mentioned that the rough birth might have caused the low muscle tone. It’s a bit of a chicken-and-egg thing –
which came first?
Hayden’s
condition has always been borderline.
It is still not immediately apparent to most people (though more
apparent the older he gets and is around other children). Being his mother, I always knew that
something was different with him and it took four years to get a professional
diagnosis of low muscle tone (hypotonia).
Even now, it’s still confusing as low muscle tone is really a symptom,
not a disease or condition (as stated by the pediatric neurologist we just
saw). Hayden doesn’t have a
disease, thankfully, and his “condition” isn’t degenerative – he is showing
some improvement with growing older and physical therapy, and his tone isn’t
getting worse. It’s just pretty
much staying at the same level for him.
(More about that later.)
Hayden
wasn’t really a floppy baby, but he did feel much heavier than other babies his
age (even though they all weighed the same). He did not support his weight as well, and was content to
lay or sit in one place for a long time (keeping busy with his hands). He has a large head and we assumed that
he had more trouble than most supporting it. He sat up around 7-8 months, but fell over often. He didn’t crawl until 11 & ½ months
or walk until 13 & ½ months – nothing too far out of the norm. He always had a slack jaw and his mouth
was open most of the time (he still is this way most of the time now). It really wasn’t until the following
year or two, when he was a busy toddler, that something seemed off.
Hayden
has always been “clumsy”. I have
affectionately referred to him as my Inspector Clouseau. He has always tripped and fallen
frequently, though it doesn’t seem to hurt or bother him much. You can see that he’s going to fall a
second or two before he does, because it’s as if his legs just give out from
under him or he gets off-balance.
(Hayden’s balance has always been poor – it is very difficult for him to
stand on one leg.) His
pediatrician always responded that he would outgrow it; that his bones were
still moving into position from babyhood.
Everyone shrugged it off (except for me).
Hayden
was a healthy child, but when he did get a cold, it always moved straight to
his chest and he ended up with one bronchial infection after another. The doctors call it “cold-related
asthma”, meaning he only gets asthmatic when he has a cold, not on a regular
day-to-day basis. In fact, Hayden
doesn’t have any allergies or sinus issues. As the years progressed, Hayden’s colds turned more and more
quickly to upper-respiratory infections and even pneumonia. (It got to where every time he showed
the first sign of a cold we started him on Albuterol, and kept him on Flovent
throughout the winter.) Looking
back, I think it was the low muscle tone which contributed to his inability to
keep his lungs clear.
Hayden
was also delayed at writing and had trouble with his speech in
articulating. At almost five, he
is finally drawing representational pictures (you can tell what the object is
supposed to be), writing letters and his language has improved enough that we
can stop speech therapy.
The main
thing that alerted me that there was more to all of this, though, was his
posture, especially when he is sitting on the floor. Hayden has always hunched, but more from his waist than his
back. When he was three, almost
four years old, and sitting in a circle at preschool, I was alarmed at how he
looked almost doubled-over, folded in half! The other kids in his class didn’t have perfect posture, but
it was nothing compared to Hayden’s posture! He also “cheats” when sitting on
the floor and playing with toys, in that he almost always has one knee up
supporting his head and chest (instead of making his muscles do the work). I
decided that it was finally time to seek another professional opinion. I called a local children’s physical
therapy office and asked if we could get an appointment to have Hayden
evaluated.
The
physical therapist took one look at him, and said she could see it right
away. His low muscle tone was especially
apparent in his face (the slack jaw, hanging cheeks, etc.) and in his chest
(which has always looked inverted).
She asked his to raise his arms over his head and pointed out how his
rib cage moved with them, instead of staying in the same position as it
should. She had Hayden lay on his
stomach and try to keep his chest and head off the ground while doing a puzzle
or reaching for a toy. After only
a few seconds, his abdominal muscles couldn’t support it anymore. Watching the evaluation, I couldn’t
believe how obvious it seemed. It
was more severe than even I had realized (though certainly mild compared to
others physical disabilities).
Still, I was so relieved to have someone else finally validate the
concerns that I had been expressing for so long that I broke down in
tears. Now we had a name for it
and more importantly, some understanding of what it was and what to do about
it.
Hayden
has been in physical therapy for just over a year now, going once a week. While he has made improvements, his
gross motor skills are still of someone almost half his age. We consulted with a pediatric
neurologist earlier this week, and even, it was a relief to know that he
doesn’t have anything more serious than low muscle tone. He is growing and developing at his own
rate, and not regressing, which would be cause for a lot of concern. As the neurologist put it, we probably
don’t have a star athlete on our hands, but we never have wished for that. He will excel in certain things, but
physical sports probably won’t be one of them (though the doctor felt he would
probably take to swimming). Moving
forward, my husband and I will make sure that Hayden gets plenty of exercise
and continues to be a happy, healthy, active boy. I have found toys and activities to help him develop the
gross and fine motor skills where he needs improvement. I also continue to bolster his
emotional strength and self-confidence.
I have witnessed his sadness and frustration at not being able to keep
up with his friends at school. The
boys at his preschool like to run laps around the playground and Hayden can
only keep up with them for about ¼ to ½ of a lap before he needs to stop or
lags way behind. He sometimes
starts sobbing, thinking that they are running away from him. It stabs me right in the heart, this
emotional pain that he sometimes experiences, but I know that every child
experiences it at times. Hayden is
such a loving, funny, wonderful child and I will help him to realize that everyday. I will redirect or refocus him away from
his limitations, and we will concentrate on his abilities, interests and most
importantly, his joy. I hope this
post helps those of you who are going through the same things, or maybe are
just starting out with younger children.
Trust your instincts. You
know more about your child than ANYBODY ELSE! Persevere, do your research, talk to others, find support
and be your child’s best advocate!
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